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How Not to Write (or, dwell Loses a Customer)

by Kristina Halvorson on February 12th, 2009

My husband John is addicted to dwell magazine. Like, seriously addicted. When an issue arrives in the mail, he disappears for hours. I imagine him locked in the bathroom, lovingly caressing each glossy page. I call it his "house porn."

So imagine my surprise when John recently announced that he was thinking about possibly not renewing.

"I'm just THINKING about it," he said. (Because, you know. He can quit whenever he wants.)

John's subscription is about to expire on its own. We've had the renewal letters stacking up while he "thinks" about it.

But today, we got a letter that helped him make the decision.

At the top of the letter is the usual dire warning:

    YOUR NEXT ISSUE IS YOUR LAST. HURRY! DON'T MISS AN ISSUE!

But then, the real letter begins. It's from Sam Grawe, editor-in-chief of dwell.

It reads:

Dear Preferred Subscriber,

Frankly, I'm surprised things have come this far. Your subscription is about to expire, and I can't understand why.

You live by your own rules. You're passionate about good design. And you've got a lively, modern eye and the courage to live differently in a nation of ranchburgers, neo-colonials, and McMansions.

Which means you're one of us. So why haven't you renewed?

Let's break this down, shall we?

First, Sam chastises and shames my husband, his "preferred subscriber."

Next, he reminds us that we are way, way better than the unimaginative, frightened people who cower in their ranchburgers and McMansions. (A little name-calling always helps to drive the point home.)

Finally, he announces that we have apparently (and unknowingly) signed up for his secret club of "us" . . . which obviously requires renewal if ,and only if, we wish to remain members.

Seriously?

This is dwell's best and final attempt at customer retention?

Whether you are reaching out to me via email, your web content, social media, mobile, a direct mail piece, a phone call, or carrier pigeon, I expect—no, demand—your respect.

Never, ever attempt to frighten or shame your customer into action. It's manipulative, it's dishonest, and it's downright tacky.

Whether or not the coming year actually would "thrill, inspire, and dazzle" us as Sam guarantees, we'll never know.

That letter was the little push my husband needed to kick his dwell habit.

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 12th, 2009 at 7:55 am and is filed under Web Writing. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  • James Harris
    "At worst, it's arrogant and rude."
    Er, isn't telling someone that they need to raise their standards also a bit arrogant and rude?!
  • the_bat
    Congratulations on kicking the "dwell" habit. While I'm not particularly a fan of ranchburgers, neo-colonials, or McMansions, I'm even less of a fan of those who would bash those who do happen to live in one of these.
  • The Alexander household has fought its own battles with dwell customer service (you think their letters are bad? try giving them a call...).
    Personal issues aside, one of my favorite re-subscribe tactics is this one:
    "This could be your LAST renewal notice! All you have to do is send us money NOW!!"
    (Which is to infer, then, that if we don't send money now, we will be buried in re-subscription notice hell for all eternity.)
    I also don't understand why they start sending these threats 3 months into a new subscription.
    Can somebody create a widget to track these, please??
  • Great discussion, all. Gwyneth, thanks for offering another take on how this COULD have played out.
    In response to the "What's the big deal?" comments: By my standards, all written communication must strive to capture the same spirit a respectful, in-person conversation would have. This copy falls far short. And whether or not this is "by-the-book" direct mail copywriting is irrelevant. At its best, it's dated. At worst, it's arrogant and rude.
    Thomas - maybe it's time you raised your standards?
  • Thomas Hallett
    I didn't think it was that bad. Seems you're looking too hard for bad content!
  • Jon
    What a complete and utter sense of humour failure you're having. If you can't tell that he's not actually chiding you then you seriously don't deserve to be in his little club.
  • You can save yourself a lot of anguish if you simply DO NOT EVEN OPEN the re-subscribe envelopes. It's only a magazine, right? Let it expire. Read another one for a while, that's what I say.
  • Dear Preferred Subscriber,
    Every month, we’re delighted to share our love of good design. Now, your subscription is about to expire. What can we do to keep you as a customer? ...
    A renewal letter like this would align with the ABOUT US copy from dwell.com:
    “Dwell was created to champion an intelligent, thoughtful, and modern sensibility ..."
  • dani
    Of course the obvious question is, well WHAT then? What would your renewal letter look like? And would it be effective?
    This is a subject that I've wondered about for quite some time, when I receive letters from charities, subscription renewals, debt collectors... what works when it comes to getting money out of people? I think with these groups particularly there's a lot of customer psychoanalysis going on, trying to unearth primative needs, deep insecurities, etc.
    I am sure dwell is a long way from a 100% success rate on their letters, but I wonder if the "one of us" letter has tested better than the nice, respectful ones (although I love the image of mid-century modern zombies roaming the streets in search of Eames reproductions... ONE OF US. ONE OF US.....)
    Last comment that belongs in this bucket o' thought: I used to love the Smile Train ads which featured before and after pics of kids with cleft lips. They used to show 2 kids: 2 befores, 2 afters, and the smiles on the after pics were so heartwarming! Now they show about 12 befores and no afters. I wonder what drove that decision... and is it working?
  • shannon
    Same thing happened with Good Housekeeping - a nasty letter asking why I hadn't renewed/paid. I'll just wait for my mom's issue...
  • Hmmm, I didn't find it that shocking, but perhaps it's because it's so formulaic. Old school marketing speak, yes, but formulaic marketing speak. Some poor marcomm hack probably sat for a long time to craft that message just right.
    Or I wonder if we - well, I - have become so used to the pitch that I don't even see it any more? I could probably reach across the table at one of the torn-in-half envelopes and pull out a credit card application (unsolicited, of course) urging me to be "one of the elite" or a renewal notice that tries some emotional plea to keep me subscribed. Aw, did you have to go and wake up my filter? ;)
  • Wow. So - I'm interested to know what your subscription renewal reminder would have looked like.
  • BK
    Again, another reason why I love all things Brain Traffic. I am now putting Dwell on my "don't need" list.
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